tip for 6 year olds: dont do TOO well in elementary school, your parents will expect those 5 years of grades for the majority of your school life
G R E E N D A L E S E V E N Appreciation Week(s)
DAY SIX: Favorite speech/quote given to or by one of the study group members
“I have no closing arguments because I’m throwing the case. No, no, it’s okay. It’s fine, don’t worry. My client, Shirley Bennett - my friend of three years - she told me it was okay. She said what I want is more important. She’s right… Right? I mean, guys like me will tell you that there’s no right or wrong, there’s no real truths… And as long as we all believe that, guys like me can never lose. Because the truth is, I’m lying when I say there is no truth. The truth is - the pathetically, stupidly, inconveniently obvious truth is - helping only ourselves is bad and helping each other is good. Now, I just wanted to get out of here, pass Biology and be a lawyer again instead of helping Shirley - that was bad. And my former colleague wanted so badly to keep his rich client happy that he just asked me to roll over in exchange for my old job. So, I guess we all walked in here pretty bad. But now Shirley’s gone good. Shirley’s helping me. It’s that easy: you just stop thinking about what’s good for you and start thinking about what’s good for someone else… and you can change the whole game in one move. Now, if you like this idea, you can make it true by doing something good for everyone here: throw this case out of court. It’s dumb. That is all.”
"aw, don’t be mad, it was just a ‘armless joke.”
"i gotta say, steve, your sense of humor is disarming.”
"teen girls are super crazed!! it’s unhealthy!!" u ever seen a grown man when his stupid ass football team loses
#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party
I can’t stop. There are too many:
#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey
Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.
ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER
Hold on, let me put away fucking Henry VIII’s milk
i swear i tried not to reblog this.
so you’ve fallen in love with an under appreciated actor with a terrible filmography: a memoir
me: hey i’m kinda good at this writing thing
*reads other people’s writing*
me: i am a literary potato
get to know me meme: (3/10) favorite movies ▬ the avengers
"Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I’ll give you that one. But let’s do a head count here: your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them."