I have decided that I will reblog this every time it comes across my dash because it makes me laugh until I think I’m going to puke.
"im not racist i hate everyone equally" yeah, hey buddy how’s the sixth grade goin
bucky learning about all the dangerous shit steve’s done, and doing that thing where he’s furious but he can’t yell at him because there are people around, so he keeps saying “oh really” with increasing hostility
"you got into a brawl with a god? oh really?" *purses his lips*
"you jump out of airplanes without a chute? oh really?” *narrows his eyes*
"you flew a plane into the ocean? oh really?” *glass shatters in his hand*
dont u hate it when u have a romantic dream about someone who u never thought about in a romantic way and then u wake up and have some weird crush on them like wtf subconscious why u gotta do this to me
“I find beauty in unusual things, like hanging your head out the window or sitting on a fire escape.”
i’m gonna be the chillest parent ever when it comes to my kid’s clothes
u wanna wear band tshirts and red lipstick? hell yeah. u wanna wear floral skirts and hockey jerseys? cool man, if that’s what u want. you wanna wear fedoras and rage comic shirts? well actually,
I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win an oscar
Don’t forget the hips, for not lying.